“Identity over Intentions” can Transform You and Your Home!

Helping people reach their goals is something that gives me great joy. But while setting goals can feel straightforward, reaching them—and sustaining the results—is where the magic happens.
Author, James Clear, emphasizes that lasting behavior change comes from focusing on identity rather than just setting outcome-based goals. He explains that real change happens when we shift our focus from what we want to achieve to who we want to become.
Take, for example, a Clarity Connection member who told me that she returned from 6 weeks away to a mountain of mail. Normally this would cause “frustration, anxiety and overwhelm” but because of the skills she’s learned she is “now a person who faces the mound of mail with enthusiasm and confidence!”
So instead of setting a goal of organizing for an hour a day, I suggest you focus on becoming someone who keeps their home tidy and organized. When you shift your perspective to “becoming a person who…” it changes how you approach home organization.
Here are examples of identity shifts that can make a big impact:
- I’m a person who finishes what I start.
- I’m a person who lets go of what I no longer need.
- I’m a person who is selective about what I bring into my home.
- I’m a person who always has clear countertops.
- I’m a person who enjoys hosting friends and family.
- I’m a person who is happy giving myself a “B minus” for my efforts.
These identities work because they tie daily actions to something meaningful. Repeating these affirmations to yourself reinforces the belief that you’re not just doing something—you’re becoming someone new.
So if you decide “I’m a person who always has clear countertops,” the actions you take today might include:
- Tossing junk mail as soon as you get it.
- Putting the bread and butter away after breakfast.
- Only leaving daily use appliances out and stashing the rest.
These small, manageable steps build confidence and momentum. Before long, you’ll embody that identity, and those actions will feel second nature.
One final example, I had a client who imagined creating quilts like her mother did. But realistically she did not have the time or focus for those large-scale projects. She decided to become “a person who creates simple, handmade items that bring joy to others.” By sewing smaller projects like tote bags and pillow covers, she found fulfillment and shared her creations with friends and family.
What kind of person do you want to “become”? What steps will you take to make that identity true? Start small, refer to your new identity daily, and take consistent action to align with it.
I promise “becoming a person who...” is a powerful way to create lasting change, not only in your home but in your life.
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